Day 10 - What I've Learned This Year

So as another year draws to a close I decided to write a post about the things that I have learned this year.

1. 2015 has been a strange year, one which has gone very very quickly, but at times felt like it was dragging on. I turned 18 this year, and I suppose I expected a lot of things to change, I thought that starting University and leaving my old friends and the comfort of Sixth Form behind would feelstrange, but looking back it doesn't feel like much has changed. So that's one thing that I've learned, change happens slowly, but when you look back on your life you'll realise just how fast things have changed without you even realising it.

2. Another thing I've learned is that University is very hard, and nothing really prepared me for how difficult it would be. I don't regret going to University, but I do feel like I could have been more prepared for the change. The work is harder, the deadlines are much closer together and the teaching style is very very different in comparison to school and Sixth Form. Although it's difficult and involves a lot of hard work I feel like I'll meet some amazing people there.

3. I've also learned that regrets are pretty pointless, of course that doesn't stop us from regretting certain things, but regrets only hold us back and keep us clinging onto the past, preventing us from moving on and looking to the future. There are certainly things that I regret, but now I'm looking forward instead of behind me.

4. Family are everything, some families aren't perfect and probably never will be, but mine are always there for me when I need them. The thing is, sometimes it’s hard to make friends and sometimes the friends you do have won’t be there for you, or you may not be able to see them very often, and so family is so important. My mum especially is always there for me when I’m feeling down and I’m so thankful for that.

5. Another thing that I think is so important stems from a Fall Out Boy lyric ‘I don’t just want to be a footnote in someone else’s happiness’. To me, this means that you can’t cling onto relationships for the sake of saying you have. I don’t have a lot of friends, I’m not the most confident and sociable person but I’d rather be that way than be pushed aside by friends who aren’t interested in making a friendship work and by being put down by people who have a superiority complex. I don’t exist to spend my whole life caring more about other people than they care about me.

6. Being an adult isn’t as exciting as it seemed to be when I was younger. Everything becomes scarier and harder and much more intense, you don’t get to go home and play with your toys and just focus on the present, you have to prepare for the future and worry about money and finding a job and learning to drive and dealing with adult responsibilities that nobody ever told you about. It’s a whole new world, it’s harder to make and keep friends and you don’t have the security of childhood any more. But with adulthood comes a sense of freedom, you’re in control of your life, and as scary as that may seem it’s also somewhat comforting.

7. Crying is okay, and it doesn’t make you weak. Holding onto everything that is making you upset isn’t healthy, and sometimes you need to have a good cry, then you wipe your tears, make a cup of tea and get on with your day.

8. Music is so important, and listening to a band you love when you’re having a hard time is like coming home, putting on pyjamas and drinking a mug of tea, it feels right and really helps to calm you down. I love Parachute, and can’t imagine a time when I won’t, and they've definitely helped me through a lot of hard times. Whether you dance around your bedroom jamming out to your new favourite song or cry to all of your sad songs it doesn't matter, because the power of music is like nothing else.

9. Nobody’s perfect. Yeah, that’s such a cliché thing to say, but you only get to see edited versions of people every day, what they post on social media and how they present themselves to the world could be completely different to who they really are. People are insecure about everything, nobody lives a perfect life (although it may seem that way) and there’s nothing wrong with that. We can all be perfectly imperfect.

10. People won’t always like you, and that’s okay. “Confidence is not ‘they will like me’, confidence is ‘I will be fine if they don’t”.  Sometimes you have to stop trying to impress everyone that you meet, because for some people nothing you do will ever be good enough, they will knock you down and enjoy watching you fail, but you have to dust yourself off and get back up again, what’s important is those that do like you and who do care about you. Don’t try and change who you are to fit someone else’s expectations of you. Be the best version of you.